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正月廿九日。年度末モードで多忙極まる。晩に小雨。
▼晋三動静（７日）18：10 東京芝公園の東京プリンスホテル。正論大賞贈呈式に出席し挨拶。総理大臣たるもの特定の政治メディアへの傾倒は如何なものか、と思ふが所詮、晋三だ。
▼小口幸人弁護士の改憲と緊急事態について（以下、要約）政府与党はお試し改憲のテーマの一つに大災害や戦争が起きたとき政府の権限強化する緊急事態事項新設を挙げるが的外れ。災害時に最も必要なのは現場に権限を下すこと。市町村長のレベルで判断し国はその判断を尊重して動けば良い。自民党改憲草案は首相の緊急事態宣言で内閣が法律と同じ効力をもつ政令制定できることや全ての国民が政府の指示に従わないければならないことを定めている。あらゆる権限を内閣が吸い上げる。被災地で必要なものとは全く逆。それどころか乱用されて人権が侵される恐れがある。日本の災害法令は世界的にも優れている。震災で多くの人が亡くなった事例は国家緊急権があったとしても防げない。大切なのは事前の準備。何かが起きてから緊急事態を宣言し慌てて内閣が法令を作って、どうなるものでもない。
▼ジリアン＝テット・FT紙北米版編集長のアベノミクスについて（以下、要約）。アベノミクスの金融緩和は本来は経済改革などの苦い薬呑むための糖衣の役割のはずだったが改革は行われず金融緩和頼み、政治家は甘い部分だめ舐め薬じたいは呑まず。金融・財政担当者が蛸壺に入り連携していない。日銀のマイナス金利は円安株高を起こして賃上げを狙うが、日銀がデフレ懸念認めたのも同様で物価が下がる可能性が高いのに経営者は賃上げをするか、これも矛盾に満ちた政策。
▼Michael Yonといふ人のFacebookにある“A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN”といふパロディが面白い。米国大統領選挙で共和党はまさかのトランプ、民主党も所詮エスタブリッシュメントのヒラリーが候補になるなかで、のネタか、と思つたら2012年当時のもの。それにしても笑へる。
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
このメッセージだけでも「いかにも」で可笑しいが附則が更に面白い。かなり長いが引用。
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!